sometimes i want to starve myself again, just so i can feel powerful. i remember feeling invincible; like a walking brain, unattached to the body that i hated.

now that i'm in recovery, i don't think about it as often. sometimes, though, i get drunk and throw up. it's easier than i remember, and that scares me.

it feels really great to be more accepting of my body, but there are always things that remind me that i devalue myself.

when will i learn to look in the mirror and believe that i'm worth it?

Jul 8, 2010

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  • My best friend died of anorexia. Please don't go back to your old ways. Think of the people you'd leave behind if you died too.

  • ^ ^ A little harsh, I have to say!

    You seem like your on the road to recovery, but why are you drinking? replacing one vice with another? Thats never a good thing.

  • anorexia is like a slow suicide and i'm sure it isn't fun. if you really wanted to lose weight and look good, eat what you want without excess and try exercise, even for just 15 minutes a day and i swear you'll see slow improvement instead!

  • I used to be anorexic too.

    I was really thin and muscular...

    so I decided to gain weirgt and lose muscle....

    and y'know what? people think I'm better looking now than I was then. :) and I can eat yummy food again!!

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