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Kinda gross
I have an ** fissure.
Every time I have a bowel motion, if there isn't blood, it's a victory for my self control. If I push, then I open up my fissure and I start to bleed, so I just need to relax like I have never relaxed before.
It's very empowering to know that I can get through this by myself.
I hope it heals soon. :(