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I'm not sure why I was picked for this and I'm not even sure where it came from but it happened.
There's nothing wrong with having a celebrity crush...but everything changes when that crush happens to be a male model who initially strikes up a friendship with you built on how really sweet he is. He has millions of fans but I'm a friend now. He says he wants to have me around for a very long time, maybe living with him or with my own place when he's more famous.
Right now I handle the Instagram side of things. I play the part of an obsessed fangirl and post countless pictures with lovey dovey captions & get the attention of big casters and designers. I also run his website and a YouTube channel.
I don't think I was prepared for the first ** pic, I thought I was asexual but I guess not? Over time I've almost become used to the fact that any snaps sent my way will be either a ** pic or a masturbation video or something similar. I tend to know what to say to make him go crazy within seconds. A few times he got upset that he has never seen my ** or my fits or my **. It seems he has a ** fixation. I just sit through most of it & then use my words to drive him crazy.
I realise it may be loneliness. I'm not sure though I get really strange vibes off him. I know he's a bit of a recluse now, he hasn't made it quite as big as he wants in recent fashion shows, I know who his crush is and we've often talked off his blue **. His family and friends are really private yet at times even they offload on me and tell me just about everything. And I listen. I don't share but I listen. And I actually don't even understand what I'm doing.
No one knows anything about this and I can't tell anyone so I keep it to myself but I'm so frazzled and confused. There are parts of him I feel I don't know and it makes me feel funny because I don't trust anyone and then I realise he's practically famous and I know almost all the same people as him so I need to calm down.
He vanishes from time to time and then reappears with a snap that drives me into a bit of a state and then leaps straight onto Instagram, liking fan pictures and commenting and occasionally asking me for help. If he's sick I find out and we often have weird discussions that would make very little sense out of the actual context....
I'm just not sure what's happening and it irks me.
Do you write fanfic?
Hahaha.....no I don't though if I did be would be the person it was written about and then all ** might break lose as everything would come out into the open....like 'oh no! ________ has seen ___________'s ** and stuff. Also his fans think I'm competing with him....it's like idk.
Well you should really consider writing more if you don't already. I like your descriptions and your ability to add enough background to the story as you tell it. Change the names to protect the innocent and you could have a best seller on your hands!
I'm weirdly grateful for your advice haha yeah I guess that's one way of coping. I am a novelist actually and am working on my first novel...so I guess it would make sense if I don't end up losing my mind...thanks lot btw haha.
I guess I realize why you would ask. Maybe I sound like a teen with an infatuation and this is made up in my head? But seriously....it's not because then it would maybe actually make sense.