Terrified and Lonely
I am terrified that the people I know secretly hate me because they think I'm annoying, arrogant, etc. I'm a female college student and I spend most of my time alone on campus. While some people are nice to me, I can't help but wonder if it's just a front, that they just feel obligated to be nice. I have to lie to my parents whenever we talk and say that I have friends that I hang out with, when the reality is I have no idea who is actually my friend.
I honestly don't have much going for me other than my grades. I'm overweight. I'm insecure about everything, and I cover-up those insecurities with bucket loads of sarcasm. I've gotten really good at masking my actual emotions. I feel trapped when I'm in a crowded room.
I've never even been asked out once in my life, except as a prank. The guy thought it was hilarious. Now, I can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with me.
Anyway, I'll stop rambling.