Secretly I want to be completely sexually submissive to a man.
I want to wake them up every morning with a b*******. I want them to be in charge behind closed doors. I want to give them s** whenever they demand it. I get so excited by the idea of rituals, commands, etc. I love being told what to do in the house. I've had these cravings as far back as I can remember. Just hearing an order spoken commandingly makes me aroused. Something in me just responds really well to a dominant man.
I also have a very independent side that clashes with the traditional side of me. I feel embarrassed by my traditional side. I rarely show it in public. Sometimes I pretend to be more free spirited than I am in order to hide what I'm really feeling. The two sides fight each other so much. I feel exhausted. I always end up catering to one side to the detriment of the other. At one point when my craving was so bad I was masturbating four/ five times a day. I just want to find some balance.
* D, this is the post I told you I would write.