My Dad

I really wish he'd move out, but i know that we couldn't make it by each month without his payments. he makes more money than my mother, but he spends nearly all of it at bars. he has at least 200$ at a few that i know of. even when my mom and i don't have enough money to go food shopping, or the electricity's going to be shut off, he goes out. my mom even has to pay his taxes every year, becuase he spent it all. he spends a ton on gambling every week too.

my friends don't really understand what's it like for us.. i mean, obviously they wouldn't, but i want a source of comfort and they can't give it to me. my mom can.. sometimes, but she always works overtime to try and pay the bills, becuase we're far behind every month.

the only good thing i got from this is that i'm highly against drinking alcohol, and never want to do it in my life. growing up with it makes me disgusted whenever anyone laughs about someone being drunk and what not. maybe about.. 90% of the time i see him, he's drunk. the other 10% counts for times when he's "being good." he thinks that is once in a while, if he'll do something nice, my mom and i will instantly love him again. he's a kid at heart, and he really doesn't understand how this is affecting us, and him too. i think he's getting that syndrome where fat stores in your eyes becuase of drinking too much alcohol, and you'll eventually go blind. he can still see.. ok, but.. it's slowly getting worse. he doesn't understand why i push him away when he tries to hug me.

i wish divorces were free. that way he'd have to pay child support. he'd probably live in my nana's unfinished attic. we'd probably lose all ties to that side of the family. (i don't like them anyways.) i'd probably grow to hate him, and i'd probably end up pushing all my blames on him.

he is ruining my life, and i don't want him in it.

Jul 8, 2010

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  • From original poster-

    Thanks for the kind words.

  • You are learning a good lesson now. My mother was a crack adict for most of my childhood. I do not have a father, but I had my grandmother. I went to stay with her, while my sister got her own place and took my little brother with her. I remebered all the good times (before she was on drugs), and would get sad/mad thinking about them. Well, my mom has been sober for a year now, and I love hanging out with her. I spend as much time as possible with her now, and let her know everyday how much I appreciate her struggle to stay sober and be a good mom to me and my siblings. Your dad probably needs aa, but there is nothing you, or anyone else can do to change him, only when he is ready will he make the decision to change. Maybe it will take him hitting rock bottom before he sees what he is doing is so bad. Good luck.

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