My life

I feel useless. My heart's broken in to so many peices i feel like life ripped and shreded my heart so many times. I am only 18, and i wish i lived with another family. I don't know where to start about my life from the the moment i could recall or today when i was watching netflix on my dads desktop in my parents room and i slightly tilted the screen down a little becuase i couldn't watch the movie properly my dad wasn't home all day it was just me and my mom and i forgot to put the screen back the same way when i turned off the computer after finishing everything... i mean i have a laptop and stuff but i wanted to watch it in their room becuase it was easier. so when my dad came back just now.. my mom was bringing food in the room in a tray and when she put it down on the table she bended to get something accidently knocking over the whole tray and everything in it, and the glass with water in it and i guess that just happened to tick my dad off because it was my moms fault and then when he yelled NO DONT GET ME FOOD I DONT WANT ANY he sat in the chair in front of the computer i sat in noticed the screen was tilted down looked at me yelled at me and took the computer screen aggresivly smashed it down with the plugs. in so much anger. he always does s*** like that even when i was little i remember this one time when i was crying becuase he did something... and i was sitting in a corner scared and he came up to me and kicked me and i was only 4 and i got bruises all over my legs.. i just cant take any of this s*** anymore my dads hurt my feelings so much hes told me more lies then he's ever told the truth. im an only daughter and he acts like that with me. and never has he ever apologized to me about anything he's done. i feel like the only reason why im so self cautious and everything is because of him. he used to make fun of me a lot and i guess because ive grown up he stopped. i eat when im depressed and im like fat i never was this fat im like 200 pounds and i just feel like my life has been downhill. every bit of happiness i get is like oil in my hands slowly sipping through the leaks. my happiness doesn't stay more then 4 hours. my hearts so broken to the point where i don't even believe anything good will happen to me. nobody can do anything but feel bad for me. i don't want people to feel bad for me, i don't want to be in this position to start with. there are so many problems in my life i don't know who to tell or how to handle them.

Jan 30, 2011

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  • I totally understand having a suckish home life and bad parents. But don't let it ruin you. Think about it this way, you're so strong that you made it through all of that. He can't hurt you anymore. You're life is in your hands now. :)

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