What's going on with me?
I don't know what's going on with me. Up until a couple years ago, being with another man never crossed my mind. Pretty much every woman I have ever encountered I have pictured naked and imagined having s** with. Seeing my wife naked makes me lose my mind. I have watched p*** regularly for 20 years, and it was always straightforward male on female. Occasionally you stumble upon s****** or gay p***, but I always disregarded it. I wasn't grossed out by it, just not interested. Then one day I started watching a video, not realizing that the woman had a p****. It didn't make its appearance until about a minute into the video. I kept watching out of curiosity or fascination, but I stopped masturbating. I convinced myself that it was just a fascination, so over time I watched other videos, but it only accounted for a small percentage of the p*** I was watching. I eventually did start jerking off to it, but convinced myself that as long as it's not what I'm watching when I c**, it's not a big deal. Then one day I pushed myself a little too far and came while watching a s****** shove her p**** into a man's a******. I briefly felt a little ashamed, but before long s****** p*** was a regular, but small, part of my p*** rotation. I started to fantasize about being with a s******. I wanted to know what it would be like to be with a person with a p****, but only as long as they otherwise looked female. Finally, I'm at a point where I'm just curious to experience another p****. I've moved on to watching full on gay p***. I want another man to suck my d*** and f*** me in the ass. I want to suck his d*** and f*** him in the ass. Although, the weird thing is, I don't feel attracted to men. I see men walking down the street, but I don't want to see them naked or have s** with them. Not like I still do with women. I don't think of specific men when I m*********, but I still think of women. My wife still turns me on. And still about 90% of the p*** I watch is hetero. Ten years ago I would have laughed if you told me I would ever watch even a minute of gay p***, let alone seriously consider f****** another man. I doubt it's something I'll ever act on, especially since I'm happily married. For now I'm just trying to wrap my head around it.