Loving bitterly

I was never that guy who someone crushed on, im a decent looking guy, slim but fit physique, a genuinely nice personality, and always willing to talk to anyone. Been it that for years yet i've never had anyone have a crush on me nor have the feelings on my crushes have been mutual...im going into my late twenties and i told myself i cant live like this so i started hitting up the gym. Something happened though...as my physique started to get better and i started to get smiles and stares i became angry. Y? Because 20+ years of being myself and the moment i put on muscle NOW im approachable? I hate to admit it but i've become bitter.. every time i get approached by a female the first question that pops into my mind is would she have talked to me if i was the way i was a year ago? I f***** hate what im doing...but no one was willing to accept me for who i was so s**** them and i hope i don't run into what i've become.

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  • I understand the feeling. Throughout high school and college I was never the guy getting all the girls. I wasn't the best at sports, or the most outgoing, or the most popular, or the richest. I was always the nice guy that gave girls a shoulder to cry on when their latest boyfriend broke up with them. I wasn't as confident as I should have been.

    It's entirely possible that as you've gotten in better shape, you've become more confident and that definitely helps you get attention. As I've gotten out of college and rapidly become successful and more confident, I find I'm doing a lot better with women.

    I can't tell you how to feel. But you can't change the past, and you shouldn't let past rejections make you bitter toward new opportunities.

  • Not everyone is superficial.

    Some people probably did/does have a crush on you and didn't/doesn't have the courage, to do anything about it.
    We aren't always clued into who likes us, from who doesn't. Some people hide their feelings exceptionally well, for many reasons. Fear of rejection is one of them and another is, being vulnerable etc.

    I can understand your reservations and I've have similar perspectives in the past, but I no longer do. We don't know what transpires through a persons thoughts and feelings. Try not to persist taking it personally. The right person will enter your life, whose attracted to your inner depths.

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