Never loved her

I've never loved my girlfriend soon to be fiancé. We are about to move in together and she wants me to propose to her and get married.

I was attracted to her in the beginning for about two 2-3 months and then that feeling died.
I get anxiety around her. I drink around her so I can relax. I'm practically always intoxicated around her because I am constantly bored or anxious when I see her. I have been going through the motions of buying flowers on holidays, pretending to be excited on her bday and the list goes on.

She wants to start a family soon and children have never been part of my plan.

The truth is that I am with her because coworkers and society makes you think you need to be with someone and have a family. Everyone keeps asking when am I getting married and when will I have kids. Two things I don't care much about.

I wonder if I should leave and be by myself or go through the phases of life on autopilot. I know this post sounds harsh but I am sparing you from the things she has done in the past that have made me this way.

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16 Comments

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  • You are an imbecile. She would be far better off without you.

  • You will regret going through on autopilot not only for yourself but what you are taking from her because you couldn't be honest. Let her find someone who will treasure her and be what she needs. You need to find yourself before you can be a man for someone else. Sometimes being cruel is only way to be kind

  • If you keep up this fake life its going to end badly. if you can move away and start a new life. A woman can literally take away a life with the help of courts. Run now and dont look back.

  • Just let her go! Be honest tell her how you feel your only hurting yourself more. You'll live miserably for the rest of your life if you fake it

  • True

  • Go solo. This chick is poison. That you have to self-medicate around her is proof. She wants to have your babies and trap you. Don't go there, please.

  • The girlfriend doesn't appear to be toxic, you idiot!

    The OP is the one who has issues, in regards to his girlfriend!

    His girlfriend isn't forcing him to drink, he's doing it because he chooses to drink!
    Does he state she points a gun to his head, ordering him to become intoxicated?! I think not!

    And finally, did he specify she makes him anxious or did he state he feels anxious when he see's her?! Because there is a difference! He stated the latter, you idiot!

  • If you think you are so concerned what other think you should and shouldn't be doing in your personal life, you have a lot of growing up to do. You shouldn't even be in this relationship or any until you figure out who you are. Who cares what your coworkers think? or society? really? If you don't want children, you need to COMMUNICATE this to any partner that you are with. Seriously, be a grown up and break up with this girl.

  • No truly knows who they're, they only think they do. It's an illusion, but I understand your point.

  • Leave! For the love of god, leave. Be free. Free yourself from the ridiculous burdens society puts on us to feel 'whole', like you aren't already whole; you are! You already have everything you need in this world to make you happy/successful/confident etc. You have it! Everything else is just outside stuff people use to make themselves feel good and accepted. A tonne of bullshit. And whatever you do, wrap it up. Do not have children if you do not want to have kids, with her or at all.

    Oh the lies society likes to tell so we feel inadequate.

    Trust me dude, you're good!

  • You are describing every relationship ever. No one is into it after a few months and those who claim to be are lying to themselves and their partner.

  • Each to their own :)

  • That's exactly my point. Each to their own. Relationships with another individual are meaningless unless you are using your partner for your own benefit.

  • Everyone is different and have different perspective's, in regards to relationships.

    Each to their own :-)

  • F*** society! You're putting unnecessary pressure and expectations on yourself, to conform to superficial idealisms and garbage, basically!

    Do whatever your heart demands, don't conform to superficial demands!
    No one is expecting you to do this, other than yourself. So why do it?

    It's unfair to your girlfriend and yourself, to continue in an relationship you no longer want to be in. If you don't want to be with her anymore, end it. But do it respectfully.

    My mother and future in laws want my partner and I, to get married. Are we f*** going to do it for them! We live our lives however we want! We aren't getting married, we don't want to and we don't need a marriage certificate to solidify our love and commitment towards each other, because we already
    do.

    We aren't having children, because we don't need to have them to complete us, we're already complete. If we change our minds later on in life, we'll discuss it, as and when the situation arises.

    I'm in a heterosexual relationship, but I'm not straight. I'm sexually fluid and don't give a f***!

    So my point is, follow your heart and it'll lead you down the right path.

    Good luck

  • You don't sound like much of a catch to me. She would be better off without your drunken ass.

    Tell her how you feel so that she can move on with her life with someone else.

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