IT HAPPENED TO ME

First off, I'm a guy and I still think about this today and it makes me cringe inside thinking about it. It was sort of a low point for me personally and it makes me wary of the choices I make moving forward.

Backstory:

Back when I was 20, I was pretty popular or so I thought, I had big groups of friends but not one best friend. I had what I thought great relationships with people and I was the type of guy to be there for you. I was always going out to friends birthdays, meet ups and seeing them before they'd go out to college etc. Basically, I was a stand out guy and was loyal to the bone. If you needed me to pick you up out of jail at 2 in the morning, I was the guy to call, I had your back.

Story about the night:

That night, I had reservations from a friend who knew the bar owner, they had their own personal bar in the back and they told me I could rent it out for free. I thought great, this room is pretty big and has enough tables to sit about 35 people. I had personally invited 30-40 people a week prior and was excited about the aspect of seeing all of my friends and just getting completely wasted with them. Party was to start at 10 so I decided it's probably a good idea to get there a little late to make an entrance.

Around 10:30 I get there, music is blasting but the backroom is completely empty. The bartender asks me where my friends are at and I told them they all must be running late, trying to laugh it off with her. I stood by the bar staring at my phone, I got a couple of texts from people saying they'd be late or cancelling last minute. Around 11:30 rolls around, still nobody and I can see the bartender feeling bad for me, offering me free drinks throughout the night. I felt completely embarrassed and stupid just standing there alone on my birthday thinking I had all these great friends. Around 12:30, still nobody, not one person has texted me since, so around 1:15 I tell them forget it I'm going home. The bartender put her hand on my shoulder and told me to forget them and know who my real friends are. I held back my tears standing in that dark empty room, feeling drunk and completely humiliated. So many mixed emotions went through my head but mostly embarrassed and betrayed. I went outside and called a cab and cried in the back on my way home. I got to my place and just sat on the bathroom floor for an hour that night, crying my eyes out like a little kid. Friends asked me about my birthday the following day but I didn't even respond to them.

I've gotten over it because I'm 26 now. Its still a hard thing to think about and muster. It's really effected the way I've chosen friends to keep close, my trust in people's words have been completely broken unless they've been able to prove otherwise. I really don't expect anything out of anyone, and when they do I'm really caught off guard. It's something I hope nobody ever has to go through.

I've never felt more alone then that night.

TLDR- Invited tons of friends to my 21st birthday party, not one person shows up.

edit. I didn't think I'd be getting this sort of response. I'll try to respond individually if I can, stuck at work at the moment. I'm reading all your comments, I'm sorry to all the people that this happened to because honestly, it's one of the most gut wrenching feelings to go through.

Even though this happened 5 years ago, it's still something that my scumbag brain likes to remind me of when I'm having a great day. Would not recommend.

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7 Comments

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  • Had a friend that this happened to on his 40th. I was overseas at the time, so had a legitimate excuse. I never forgot the lesson. He just had his 60th and we all flew in from interstate. Good party.

    Also, my wife's parents never came to our wedding...

  • I'm sorry to hear that , despite the fact don't feel bad my wife's parents can't stand to look at me for some reason and they didn't show up to our wedding as well.

  • My brothers didn't show up to either my engagement party or my bachelor party despite me going to theirs. It's been many years but I still think about it.

  • In a very small way I can relate. My best friend in high school and neighbor was a popular guy. I was catching on that I was a backwards kid raised by very different thinking parents.
    I looked out the window of my room and there was a party going on at his house. I peeked in his window and there was all the 'in crowd' having a party.
    I knocked on the door to talk to him. He told me it was his birthday party and it struck me in the gut that I wasn't invited. I realized he was embarrassed to have me around. I went back home alone with hurt feelings.

  • I'm so sorry dude but eventually we learn from it and learn to cope. Sadly for me it haunts me and has led me to not trust too easily and be wise, when it comes to choosing friends !!

  • That's so sad. I would have gone!

  • Yea imagine the feeing knowing nobody showed up.

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