The New Sewer Pipe
Right now, and for the past week, the city has been tearing up the street in front of my house to install new sewer pipe. In recent developments, they are now storing bundles of the new sewer pipe on the parking on front of my house.
In the wee hours of the coming morning, say around 3 a.m., it is my intention to go outside, up to one of these stored pipes, drop trou, and let loose a crap in one of the stored, uninstalled and virginal sewer pipes. Reason: because I want to be the first to leave a dump in this newly laid sewer.
It'll be like virgin s**, but better, more unique, because many peoples' crap will go through this pipe over the years, but mine will always be the first. I'll be like Perry conquering the North Pole!