I am finally happy
For the past 3 months I have been seeing a 19 year old girl who had been abused and manipulated by her day. She was taken from him 4 years earlier and although it was a traumatic experience she actually enjoyed it.
I met her on CL and we meet a few times a week where I mentally and physically control her. Most of it is a depraved and controlling situation where what I do to her is a need. I control what she eats, when to p*** and how I play with here.
Last week I was house sitting my brothers place and we role played her young and I sexually abused her in my nieces bed, dressed up and everything. The weekend before I had her over at mine where I starved her and only fed her my c**.
She keeps wanting more, I train her, she gets off to being made to do things, I have to make it sound like its a normal thing a dad and daughter do. Her dad manipulated her into thinking that. At no point does she complain, tell me no, no matter how hard, what I do to her and what damage I'm doing she wants it time and time again.
She sees a shrink twice a week for the past few years for mental "trauma" at first it worked, but she realised she needed to be controlled and only goes to the shrink to humour her friends and family,
I am 37 and never been married, no kids. Everyone wishes I find a nice girl to settle down with and be happy, everyone thinks I'm lonely and sad because i"m single. I'm not, I am always looking to to improve our relationship with more sick and twisted scenarios and abuse patterns. I have met some "normal " girls and a a couple at work want to go out, but I am so absorbed in my relationship with this girl I have no intention of changing it.
We have become so dependant on each other that any sick act or fantasy we play out is met with enthusiasm and o******. I don't have to hide who I am with her and she doesn't with me. There's this crazy attachment where we know each other so well the moment we play something out it's an amazing mental pleasure I can't really explain.
Usually when I have s** with a girl there is always these pathetic limits, restrictions and rules, I would never get turned on and always disappointed with s**, most times I'd never c**. Wither her she can talk dirty where it's so perverted and sick I don't have to go into my fantasy world to c**, her words make me hard and she loves it when I use her to c**.
I've never had this before and never thought I would. Maybe one day we can live together, I've never wanted to live with a girlfriend due to my perversions, but this time is so different.
For once I am happy and so is she.
I dare not confess this to anyone.