Can i even be angry.
So here is where my life is at, My husband had s** with my best friend and i was there. I am 38, My best friend is 34, My husband and i have been married 19 years and have 3 kids, My best friend has been married 15 years and has 3 kids. Friday night we were getting a bit wild partying with her and her husband, We were out of town for an event and my husband had booked us a hot tub room, Our kids were with his parents and theirs were with a sitter overnight.
We were all drinking in the hot tub and getting a bit crazy being we didn't have any kids with us, My friends husband had gotten out and sat on the couch because he thought he was gonna puke and he passed out sitting up with a beer in his hand.
We were drinking and laughing at him and my husband was teasing me running his hands on my legs under the water and so on, Things progressed a bit and my friend has considerably larger b**** than i do and i was jokingly teasing her about showing them since none of us had a bathing suit and we were both in just bras and panties and the guys in just boxers, I was telling her she might as well just take her bra off since it wasn't hiding anything anyway and she said i'll do it if you will. Needless to say a few seconds later we were both topless sitting with our b**** below the water level.
We were being drunk and playful and we both would sit up and flash our b**** and then i got out and was giving her husband who was still passed out a half assed lap dance as they watched and laughed while i shook my b**** and butt in front of him. I got back in the hot tub and somehow we talked my husband out of his boxers and i was teasing him getting on and off his lap.
Eventually i was on his lap with him slouching down and my friend standing behind me cupping and jiggling my b****, she ended up sitting on his lap and i was sitting on his stomach, I knew she was sitting on his p**** and i could feel that she was grinding on it, I turned around putting my back to my husband and had my hands on her hips, My husband is a large guy, Not fat but tall and thick and his p**** is proportionate to his build so consequently he is a well hung man.
I was the one who took things too far and i am the one who was pressing her hips down grinding her on him and at the time it was all fun and games and at the time i could tell she was beyond just being playful, I thought it was funny that she was getting h****, She had her hands on my hips as i had mine on hers, My husband grabbed her hands and put them on my b**** and she wrapped her arms around me kissing my shoulder and neck, She was shaking a bit and i reached down with both hands and pulled her panties to the side, Grabbed my husbands p**** and she sat up a bit as i guided him into her.
As she sat down on him her eyes rolled back and she put her head on my shoulder again moaning "Oh good god" as i put my hand back on her hips and pushed her down, She was rocking her hips as my husband worked his hips and had his hands groping and grabbing both of us, Squeezing b**** and butts i just remember that the more she moaned the more i thought it was funny and the more i kept pushing her down, She bit my neck and wrapped her arms around me tightly as she shook and moaned "Oh f*** yessss" and then twitched hard a few times and slid off my husbands p**** then quickly reached down and pulled my panties to the side, She was still shaking as she kissed me and rubbed me a couple times then grabbed my husband and slid him into me.
I was super h**** and have never done anything like this but i was riding him and he was still hard as she rubbed my button and my husband pinched my nips while she sat in front of me on his knees, It didn't take long and i finished too then we all got out of the hot tub and toweled off, There was an awkward moment where we all stood naked and stared at each other before she asked my husband to help get her husband next door to their room, he slipped on a pair of sweats and stood him up and basically carried him next door and flopped him on the bed, He came back and we all said a very awkward good night then i kissed her, My husband kissed her and she left.
Me and him crawled into bed and had s** again then passed out, The next morning she was at our door before we were up and i opened the door as she burst into the room, She immediately told me the night before was a mistake and should have never happened, My mind was still foggy but i remembered what had happened and honestly had not had time to process it yet, I wasn't sure if she was angry with me or embarrassed or what but i agreed that it was a mistake and we agreed that she should not tell her husband and we should all pretend that it never happened, We came home and i took some time to just think about what happened and my husband admitted that he came in her but i'm not concerned about that since he is fixed. I know that i was there and involved and i was the one who took things too far but i am also angry that neither of them stopped it, I know i shouldn't be angry at anyone since we were all involved and all played our own part but it still bothers me.
I don't want this to affect our friendship, I don't want this to affect my marriage but i also can't shake the feelings i am having.