I have a dilemma

I have a dilemma that is causing me stress, First a little back story.
My husband and i have always been a little on the wild side, I like to get tipsy and have always been a bit of a flirt, Ok a lot of a flirt, My husband loves to watch guys check me out and hit on me and has always encouraged me to flash or give a little peek here and there. A couple years ago we took it to the next level and invited a guy to come back to our hotel room while out of town for a conference and since then have invited four people to join us.
At first i was partial to the thought of another girl since that was all i had known in that situation before being with my husband, Meaning i did it once with another couple in college (My room mate and her boyfriend) and a couple makeout sessions with girls while we were dating but for the first twelve years of our marriage we were only with each other.
My husband has always know about my sexual history, I am very open and when he asked i had no problem telling him everything, Although there are some things that are maybe not mainstream i went through an experimental phase (17-20) and while trying to find what worked for me i felt the only way to know what was the right fit was to actually experience it and he has never been anything but supportive of the fact that i did things that i enjoyed and things i didn't and he understands that some things i do not wish to try again but now with me at 38 and him at 40 with 3 kids we were looking for more.
Anyway...Yeah, so first time we brought a guy to bed with us was a total disaster, He couldn't get it up and when he did he finished before even getting it even close to in and was done, I think he was just too young and over excited. Second time was a girl and went much better, My husband had never been with two girls and was a bit awkward as he tried to make sure i enjoyed myself instead of letting me worry about me and him worry about him but he found his groove and things went well. Next was a guy again but closer to our age and quite a looker, Needless to say it was great and changed the way i thought about who to bring home. The fourth again was a guy and not quite what the previous had been but still quite good.
Now on to my dilemma, My husband and i have always agreed that we should keep our extra curricular activities to our selves and away from the prying eyes of our "Hometown crowd" meaning no friends, and no local people. My husband and i don't want our friends to know just because we don't want to be "that couple" or be ostracized for something we do a couple times a year but recently we slipped up.
My absolute best friend who i love to death and who is "My person" for any and every issue i ever have and vice versa had no idea we had been doing this. We get together at least once every couple months even though we are in different cities now, Both very busy and have to travel we still make the effort to get together. every since the day we met we have been besties and we just mesh, We can talk about anything and no matter the situation we are the person the other turns to, four years ago she split with her husband over irreconcilable differences, The differences being he wouldn't stop banging the neighbor and it took her a couple years to get back in the scene since he kept messing with her and she was a complete emotional wreck.
As stated she began dating again and after some total dud's she found a guy she liked and although i don't see what she does it is her relationship and not mine so i tolerate him and there is nothing major wrong with him i just don't see it, Last month she came to our place and as per usual we got a bit out of control, and we were sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen and after running out of wine she decided we should drink whiskey which i feel is where things took a turn for the worst. After a couple glasses of whiskey we started talking about her man and i confessed that although he was a nice guy and reasonably good looking i didn't get why she was SOOOOO into him and she began to explain a few things and finally told me they enjoy a healthy sexting relationship, I laughed and she proceeded to explain then she...showed me, she opened up their conversations and i have seen her naked a hundred times so it was not that big of a deal but he was a bit unexpected, He is in better shape than i thought and even with him not being "hung" he still looks pretty good.
Things carried on and i slipped up and made a comment about things we had done and she froze and stared at me, I froze staring back at her and neither of us spoke a word until finally she said "WHAT...the...efff", i was busted, totally left with no way out but to tell the truth and she sat staring at me in disbelief. We talked at length about it and how she never even had a hint, She seemed intrigued and kept asking about certain things, About 1:00 am my husband came strolling in after playing rec hockey and having beers with friends, she stared at him and i stared at him and he stared back, He looked panicked and i broke the news to him about her knowing. It was kind of funny because for a guy who is normally confident and in control of almost every situation he looked like he had no idea what was going on and awkwardly excused himself to go shower.
There was a long awkward silence and then she excused herself to go to bed, I went and joined my husband in the shower and we got out, toweled off and opened the bathroom door to go to bed while still naked, making out and groping each other, As the door opened my husband said "oh Geez" and went to cover himself, My best friend was sitting on the edge of the bed facing the bathroom and looking at us, i looked at her and she just smiled.
She is about my height with about 30 pounds on me but she has way bigger b**** and even being a bit bigger than me my husband has always said she carries it well and looks good, I looked at my husband and lifted my eyebrows shrugging my shoulders and he whispered "really?", I shrugged again and nodded and she stood up in front of me, We started kissing and groping as i peeled off her clothes, my husband was still behind me and although i have told her about him she has never seen it, to put it mildly my husband has been blessed with length and girth.
I had her top off and her big b**** were spilling out of her bra and i knelt down to pull her pj shorts to the floor, As i did it exposed my husband and she coughed and said "Holy s***", I turned my head and looked, He was fully erect and let me say that he is impressive, we have measured and he is 8.5 inches long and when i wrap my hand around it i can't touch my finger to my thumb without squeezing tight and is by far the biggest i have been with. We carried on and ended up in bed rolling around and the whole time she was fascinated with his size until he got on top of her and then she panicked, She clenched her thighs on his hips and looked scared as i rubbed his tip against her, She was breathing heavy and shaking a bit so i nibbled her ear lobe and whispered "He will be gentle", I went back to working him into her and i had forgotten what it was like in the beginning but it all came back as i watched her eyes roll back and she looked like she was going to pass out, He only ever got about three quarters in according to him but within minutes she was bucking her hips as he tried to go slow while i sucked her nips, She took a break to catch her breath as i took over and an hour later my husband had gotten off multiple times ( which hasn't happened in a while) and she had her hands and mouth full of my husbands p**** as she feverishly stroking him hoping for more but alas he was done.
She had finished once already and i had come close but not quite, We did a whole thing together which gave my husband time to get up again and give her one more since i was beyond done but she later told me that what me and her did pushed the boundaries of what she had ever even fantasized about and now says she is still unable to wrap her mind around the sensations and feelings she has about it.
Now for the biggest issue of all, We have spent countless hours talking about it which is partially why i never wanted to bring in someone we knew because it is way better to walk away after with no contact after, She has mixed feelings about doing it but worst of all when she got home her man started questioning her about the way she was acting and she broke down and told him.
They had a huge blowout fight and he moved out but has since moved back in, Now he thinks he should get to "Have a turn", Um...that's not how it works, Not at all but she says he is constantly pushing and she is in love and doesn't want this to be what causes them to break up, Unfortunately i feel like it is my fault it went the direction it did and i feel a responsibility to fix it if i can but it is not just something i feel comfortable saying "Ok, i'll bang your man so he feels better about mine banging you", It has always been a spur of the moment thing that just happens with no pre planning and the more she brings it up the more awkward it gets.
I have spoken to my husband about it and he says it is my decision and he supports whatever i decide but i don't think i can just do it, This is absolutely the worst possible outcome and i don't know what to do.


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  • I do it.

  • It's their dilemma - let them find someone else to enter into the threesome or foursome. fixing her marriage is not your responsibility

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