There are two kinds of molestation victims

There's the type that gets all angsty and into self-hate, and there are those who get full of themselves and build their whole self-image around how sexy they are.
I was the second type.
My parents didn't give a s*** about me - they sold me outright to older men. I think I was 7 when it started. I was always being told by older men how beautiful I was, and how they couldn't help doing things to me because I was so sexy. It was pretty much the only kind words I ever got. I don't know if I really enjoyed the s** or not (some of the men went out of their way to make me feel good), but it was my drug.
When I hit 14 I left home and started using my body to get whatever I wanted. It worked good until I got arrested for soliciting. As I got older the only men I found were getting sicker and sicker. When they started slapping me around and calling me w**** I couldn't figure out what went wrong. I took drugs to help me get along. I was 20 when I finally got help, both for the drugs and my warped view of life.
I'm 30 now and I've been pretty well-behaved. The drugs are long gone but I've had more than one slip in the s** department. There are just times that I need a c*** to feel anchored to reality and it doesn't matter which one or whose.

Jul 8, 2010

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  • i stayed silent after he told everyone i'd called him for s** and no one believed what i told them.

  • I stayed silent. It kills me everyday.

    I'm proud of you for making progress. You might slip every now and then, but I expect you will recover.

    WE all have to someday.

  • What country? There is another kind of victim- those who stay silent.

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