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I'm a straight male who has gay fantasties
I am a conservative, shy and straight male...or at least I thought I was. I have never in my life shown any interest in men nor do I want to have flat out ** with a male, I am always more attracted to females and always was. It is just in recent history that I accidentally clicked on a gay ** video and actually got curious and interested by it, It turned me on, watching a man dominate another man and that is where I stated having the fantasy of having ** with a male...it gets me off thinking about it. I also admit that I have sent ** pocs and vids to men over the internet.
However, in "real life" or in person I would never want to have ** with a male, in reality and outside of my fantasties I still strongly desire a female. I believe it is the thought that I am never really going to do it with a male that turns me on so much, it is the feeling of knowing that it is something I won't do (almost like forbidden fruit).
So in summary; I'm a straight male with gay fantasties and private 'time' BUT it is only fantasies nothing else because I know that I won't personally get it on with a male, hence I am attracted to women outside of my fantasies. Thanks for reading my confession...please feel free to share your thoughts*
You have a very clear focus, and an objective point of view: that's very healthy. I respect your ability to examine yourself objectively, and even critically. Not many humans are capable of that, and even fewer men who have had the life experiences you and I have had. I'm impressed that you can resist the ** after having had the **. That's a strength of character that I don't have. Once I got the first one in me, I knew immediately that I would always have to have it. I tried to quit, once upon a time, but one of the men I was seeing at the time went to work on me and made that impossible: he ratcheted up my appetites to the point that I was almost rabid. Anyway, I'm happy that you know yourself and can control your needs. That speaks so well of you.
I am envious of you as well. The first time a man came in my mouth.....well it was a shoe that fit. I’ve only had one occasion to take it in the **. But I took two, one right after the first. The first was big (about 8”). He was gentle, but he was dominant, demeaning, a little condescending. He let me know (subtly) that he didn’t see me as a real man while my ** was stretched over his big **. When I felt him swelling up, ready to **, there was no doubt I would let him turn loose inside me. Then other one. He was perfect for **, no more than 6 inches, not very thick. What turned me on the most about him was that I could hardly feel him inside me. He almost had to tell me when he was finished. That turned (and still does turn) me on a lot. Later I topped a guy who didn’t know he was effiminate. It was okay but I really prefer the submission of bottom. He did like to make out though. I didn’t think I’d like that, but I was wrong. I’ve even had the occasional fantasy of me and him being together. But a short conversation always arrests that lol.
LOL. I understand how the reality sometimes shatters the fantasy. :)
I also completely understand your preference for the submissive role. I probably take the ** on nine out of ten occasions, and give it on the tenth. And I prefer men who want to take charge...….and just use me for their pleasure. Knowing that I am pleasing someone who is ALL MAN is a lovely and loving feeling. I know what you mean, too, about that first taste of **: it's like heaven, so flattering and wonderful and delicious. And it changes everything about your appetites after. Oh, dear, how it changes you.
But oh my God, I am so completely blown away that you took two ** up the ** on your first experience!!!!!!!!!! And in particular that your very first ** was so big and its owner was so powerful and physical and demeaning. I just know you must think of him often, and can probably still feel him....back there...…...taking you.....and taking care of you that way.....and speaking to you so RUDELY!!!!! I love that. And I'm sure you must still love him, and miss him......being IN you.
I really appreciate your thoughts and they way you share them and express them. Thank you for that!
I just got hard reading your response. Yes I think of him fondly, and often. Could have been a perfect situation. He was married also.
I haven't been with many guys who were so well-hung, but the ones I have been with stand out in my memory. One in particular knew he had something special and beautiful between his legs, and he constantly reminded me of it, from the very first time I met him until the last time I saw him. I can vividly remember every time he put that thing in me, and also what he did with it once he got it there. He was really young (worked as an intern at the place my wife worked at the time), and he loved the fact that he knew my wife, and used it against me constantly. Even though he was so young, she still knew what he was doing, and he knew that his ** was super big and super beautiful. I think of him often, too. Have a good weekend, my friend.
I’ve been dating the same guy for 20 years and the only time that I really enjoy ** is with him! The thought of ** with my wife or any other woman disgusts me but the relationship is convenient. Steve is a very attentive and sensual ** partner and I will love him with all of my heart for the rest of my life!