It's always been me who was chicken
I might have ruined a friendship.
Right from literally day one I knew my husband wanted to try a three way, The night we met we were at a party at my college residence and when I invited him upstairs he followed me to my room and we met up with a room mate of mine outside my room, He looked at me, I looked at him and he nodded toward her. I thought about it and just pulled him into my room, Approximately 2 1/2 years later on our wedding night we had already consummated our union and neither of us could sleep so we sneaked down to the hot tub room and found my maid of honor and her boyfriend already in there with clothes all over the floor so we peeled of ours and crawled in, There was some kissing between me and her, Some touching but I eventually chickened out and we went back to our room.
A couple years later I had a baby and had just finished breast feeding, like literally just switched to baby food so that night was my first night of drinking in a LONG time, I got a little too tipsy and my b****** were huge and overfull, My husband talked me into showing them to some people we were out with and I let his best friend feel them, We were in the cab on the way home and he was still trying to cop a feel with my husband urging me to let him, My husband put my hand on his best friends crotch and by the time we got home His best friend had one of my b****** in his hand, I had his best friends **** in my hand and my husband invited him into the house. I panicked and told him no, Told his friend to stay in the cab and we had a short back and forth before his friend left in the cab while we went inside.
fast forward a few years and one of my friends commented on coming home with us, My husband basically begged me to do it and I backed out, The next new years a girl in the bar almost humped me sitting in our booth and was all over me but a little too aggressive for my liking and scared me off, Mexico for our winter vacation at the age of 33 we walked up on a couple getting it on at night right on the beach, We started to watch and I drug my husband back to the room to jump him, Cuba 3 years later my cousin and her husband proposed a swap and my husband was almost beside himself he was so excited but I got weirded out because she is my cousin and the whole seeing them all the time at family events and so on.
We had a couple more chances and I always chickened out, Finally last weekend at 40 years old I thought I was gonna do it, We were out with friends and my one friends husband had gone home early because he was trashed and puked in the bar, She came to our place for a drink after and was gonna walk the three houses back to her place, Me and her have kissed and played around drunk before, Touched each others b****** and stuff and I have actually thought about doing something with her before so when my husband left the room I presented the idea to her, She was thinking about it and we were giggling, She has fake b****** so I unbuttoned her top to show a LOT of cleavage and she tore off her bra leaving her nips poking out through her shirt, I was looking at her and wanted to touch her, My husband came back and noticed right away, Suggested we move to the living room to a more...Intimate setting, The kids were at my parents for the night, All the blinds were closed and me and her sat on either side of him, He kissed me, He kissed her, I kissed her, I had my shirt off, She had hers completely unbuttoned, My husband had his pants and underwear around his ankles and she had his **** in her hand, We were all grabbing at each other, He stood up in front of her, I knelt in front of her between them, I reached up her skirt, She lifted her bum and I pulled her underwear off, I looked up and she leaned in taking him in her mouth.
So here is my good friend, Sitting in front of me, My husband leaning over me with his **** in her mouth, I spread her legs and came face to face with the first ever time I have seen any other woman's ***** and I am totally contemplating going for it, I go to lean in and she put her hand on my head pushing me back, I kissed her thighs and went for it again, She pushed me back again so i sat beside her, I put my hand between her legs and slipped one finger in, She tensed up and pulled my hand away so i decided to switch things up, I Pulled him to his knees and turned her face toward me, I kissed her as my husband spread her knees, He was licking and fingering her, Me and her were kissing and groping, He was fingering me.
Everything seemed to be going great, I was feeling really good about everything, she was really into it, My husband got up on his knees and shuffled up between her legs, I grabbed his shaft and rubbed it on her, She tilted her head back and I kissed her neck and started licking her nips, I pressed his k*** into her and she moaned as he slid it all the way in but then about three strokes in she lifted her head, Moaned and then clenched her thighs saying "Stop, Stop, Stop" My husband stopped all the way in and she thrust her hips forward as she grabbed his hips pulling him into her, She twitched a little and looked at me with a complete look of fear in her eyes and I knew she was done, She moaned "mmm, F***" and shook as she came, She pushed him back and closed her legs, She started crying and covered her face, She was saying "Oh god, What have I done, Oh god".
My husband got up and sat beside her and I on the other side of her, She pulled her skirt down and sat up leaning forward sobbing, She got up and I was trying to calm her down but she quickly grabbed her purse and coat then hurried out the door, I was too upset to continue with just us and we went to bed, We were discussing what had happened and she started texting me, She was apologizing and I could tell she was upset, I told her it was ok and that it was my fault and that i shouldn't have pushed her to do it, She told me she doesn't blame me and after a while just went silent.
The next day was super awkward when she came over to get her bra and panties, she cried and we hugged as she tried to explain herself, I consoled her as best I could and I think by the time she left we were on good terms but haven't talked a whole bunch since which is odd for us, I hope we can get past this and get back to where we were before.