Something to get out of my chest
I am quiet and introvert girl but this isn't helping me at all. Because i am 24 years old and i want someone to f*** me and i believe nobody would want. I am very guilty. I am not so attractive. Nobody ever fell in love with me. It's like i am invisible. Maybe it's my fault because from my 11-12 years i didn't want anyone to see me sexually. I always want to be modest and asexual. I always cover myself with large and long clothes so nobody could see my b****** or my butt. All of this was because i feel guilty and i didn't want to be or seem sexual at all.
As the years passed everyone had sexual attention even girls who were not so attractive in my opinion and then i start to think maybe i do something wrong. Because not even sexual harassment i had, not even someone tells me something inappropriate on the street. And when i hearing girls to complain about this i get mad at them. I mean really? Someone find you attractive and you complain about it? Did you prefer to be invisible? Nobody send me his p**** in picture , i was the one i asked some boys to send them to me. Luckily they send them to me. And i automatically fantasize i ride them and put them in my mouth. I pressured my sexual desire a lot as a teenager and now it seems like i need s** not just want it.
I thought to pay one man to f*** me or two men or four men. When i watch p*** i wish i was the woman in the video getting f***** by a lot of men and have o******. Would be a good idea if i had s** without knowing who is f****** me neither i see their faces and neither can they see my face. I just want to feel sexual pleasure and lot's of o****** and i don't care who put his p**** in me or how many guys would f*** me. And the idea of c** inside me makes me h****. Ages don't matter to me. I would accept for example a 15 year old boy and a 60 year old man. And because i am passive person i would be receptive someone to do what he wants with my body except to hurt me. But mostly i prefer lots of men with big c**** to f*** me hard back and forth and rip my tight p**** and b*******. And c** in my mouth or to every part of my body.
I am still guilty i feel like a s***. I admire s**** because they have the courage to have s** with anyone they want while i have not. I ending up m********* a lot and i think i will buy a big virbrator or d**** to put it in me to feel something inside me. It's good for a woman to experience and feel inside her many kind of c****. And the white ones and the black ones and all the kinds.
Sorry if my english were not good. English is not my native language.