Caught my wife!
I can't believe that I came home after only being gone for a measly 2 hours and caught my wife in bed. But it's totally true. I just happen to forget a couple documents from the night before. I was working late and thought I put them into my briefcase. But once I got to work I realized my mistake and headed right back home. I didn't bother to call ahead after I did that one time and she chewed me a new hole for waking her up from her beauty sleep. I figured I would just let her continue to rest. My vehicle is very quiet being it's a Tesla. Our home is an older stone house with lots of insulation and the garage is well insulated and we have a very quiet new belt drive door opener. I almost drove my old 1970 Chevelle SS 454 to work but didn't want it on the job site. She would have heard me return. I guess that's just what you call fate.
I hit the garage door opener just around the corner. Then using my smart phone I punched in the alarm code and I was going to walk in get my papers and leave. She wouldn't have known I had even been there. But I decided that I might leave work around noon and hit the golf course. I just needed to slip in and get my new golf pants. Halfway up the stairs I heard voices and laughter. I thought it was just the television. But I could clearly hear a man's voice and my wife. I listened outside of the bedroom for just a couple seconds and I knew who was in with her. It was her personal trainer. I turned the door handle slowly and then pushed hard. He jumped up naked right out of bed and fell on the floor. I said I was going to my gun safe and he ran straight out of the room only grabbing a few of his clothes.
I told the wife to make sure she was gone by the time I got home. She didn't think much of me scaring him like that. I told her he was a weasel and they deserve each other. She vowed to make me pay. That made me laugh. I told her she would have to get a job now as no judge awards no working women with a college degree everything anymore. We shall see who pays. I'm glad she's gone now. The house is always nice and quiet and more pleasant. Good riddance to her lazy butt. She cost me more money just being around. Gone is good.