My sister in law 2

I confessed recently that I was in love with my brothers wife. And I have been in love with her since I was ten years old.
I have been trying my best to forget about her but she has just taken all the space up in my mind lately. It started a couple of months ago when I fell in love with her all again at this house party. Since then I have been suffering on the inside.
The other day I was invited to my nephews birthday party at a restaurant and while I was there I tried my best to avoid her but something happened. Something happened when it was time to cut the cake. So yeah she brings the cake to the table, everyone is surrounding the table and then all of a sudden she tries to feed me the cake and I refuse. Then before long i feel her body leaning on me, so much so that I can feel the shape of her bum on me. I was dreading it but truth is I loved it. I loved it because I was planning to touch her but instead she was just all over me.
What's more is that the next day my sister shows me all the pics she took of the party. And although there was the whole bum incident, fact is I never really took a good look at her. But when my sister showed me the photos and I saw my sister in law properly, I died again. She looked so amazing she was so perfect. Ever since seeing the photo I've just felt like crying and angry. I've been fighting my depression for few years now but lately I just feel horrible and alone. I feel angry that I dont have a photo of her on that day. I dont know what to do with myself it's so hard. Every time i try to fight my feelings of her i just fall in love again. I wish she was mine but I'm too much of a coward to be selfish. I dont want to be the bad guy and it's just too complicated. I am madly in love but I've never felt this bad in my life. Why is this happening to me. Why now. I want to make sense of it but I'm just full of emotion. What am I supposed to do.

2 Comments

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  • Definitely think your sister in law is just the scapegoat of many feelings as your mind is trying to understand many complicated issues

  • You need to go get to a professional counselor to help you work through this maze of thoughts and feelings that are effecting you so negatively. Most the advise in here or places like this you will be told do all kinds of asinine immoral things.

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