Confused.

So a bit of a confession here.

Maybe not so much of a confession but a realization of who I am. The thing that sparked this was a Tumblr post. There are many that I have seen of this type but for some reason this one clicked.

It talked about how if your a female and you watched Pirates Of The Caribbean as a kid and got overly excited when Elizabeth Swan became a pirate queen, your almost 100% guaranteed to be gay when your older.
Most people have seen the who Sweater Weather by The Neiborhood Tumblr post where it says the same thing.

For some reason this got me thinking about my past in a different angle.
My first kiss was with a girl, my first heated moment was with a girl...but I never really fell in love with women on TV. It was real people. I mean there was this upperclassmen when I was a freshman who was an probably still is the most beautiful female I have encountered in person. There were these things I would notice about my female friends that would just make my heart melt even if I didn't feel that way towards them. The way their lips curl in a smile, the sound of their laugh, the soft curves of every part of them that I would just get the urge to cherish. I could go on... Is this how guys feel about girls?
I mean I was a girly child until puberty when I fell in love with my best friend who was also a female. Since then I have fallen into this role where most people would call me a "d***". I personally don't feel like I fit that.
I do get certian feelings about males but it's normally just this overwhelming need to get thouroghly ravenged by impossible physical strength. I believe that is the primal needs in my DNA. I don't nessisarly get those feelings about females unless I am ovulating.
I honestly don't know what any of this means, if any of it counts.

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  • It's all good. :) You do you. Thankfully, it's become much more socially acceptable to explore and be something other than strictly hetero. However, don't make the mistake of feeling like you now have to infuse your preference into every single thought, word, and act or use it as a bludgeon. Straight people don't do that, at least not the ones who know there's more to them than whatever makes their magic place feel funny. That needs to be true for everyone else as well. That is what *equality* is all about!!

  • I agree. I worry that there is a lot of pressure to come out as gay and then kind of stick with it. My gut feeling is that many of us are kind of mostly one way with a bit the other way if that makes sense. Like I am happily married and love and l*** my wife. I remember as a young teen being really attracted to one of my male friends. He wore quite tight short shorts called scoops and singlet tops and we would hug and touch each other and even kissed on the lips.

  • I think we can have it all. Maybe it will become more normal or open. I am a wife and mother but I am having the hottest girl on girl affair with another mom I met at my child's playgroup. I still love my husband and my child but I also love my girlfriend. In fact I think I actually began to enjoy my husband more. You know maybe because for a while I thought I should try extra hard because at some point I just did not want to have s** with him and then I was getting it all satisfied with my girlfriend so I felt guilty and tried to give him great s** and then interestingly I started to really appreciate what he was doing for me and then I started to get aroused by him again.

    So enjoy yourself and love yourself and love others

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