I want to quit

I have had a panty fetish since i can remember. it was more of a love of the material initially. i would also cut up stolen swimsuits and panties and make a custom piece to wear although quite crude.
After i got married i eventually got to the point i needed to wear my wife’s panties and master bate in them every time i master bated. i turned into more fantasy of being a female and using suction cup d***** and wearing lingerie and mKeup and performing on cam sites for other men which i still do. i can’t stop it’s not normal and it truly affects my relationship with my wife. i am truly turned on performing for other men and master bating with them on cam but as soon as i c**, i a feel guilty and frustrated and vow to never do it again. vicious cycle

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