Lied about my injuries

I came into work on crutches, as my knee is the size of a balloon and I can barely walk. I also can’t lift my right arm due to shoulder pain, and I have a massive bruise on the side of my head.

One of the girls at work asked “what happened?!” I said I fended off an attacker who was trying to rob me. I made it sound a bit heroic too, like I was a bad ass.

The truth is that I was drunk and fell over into a lamp and got brutalized when I hit the hardwood floor at full force.