i'm not really me

I smile at the camera. i tell you i can't be hurt. inside i take everything to heart. i hate the way i look and want to burn my photos. i eat a block of chocolate then feel like crying as i poke my stomach. i tell you i think i'm gorgeous. inside, i'd do anything not to look like i do. to have the confidence to be who i really want to be. i'd like to be a stripper. just to feel exhillarated as people look at me and want me. because i never feel like that. i would like to be forward and confident. my biggest fear is rejection. i never put my emotions out there beacuse i am so afraid of getting hurt it kills me. i act like i don't care what people think, but i really do. it runs my life. i wan't a partner. but i know i'll never let myself be open enough with anyone. i've done it a couple of times and only gotten hurt. i don't trust people because i have no reason to, everyone is nice to me, i have no sad stories. but i've never been happy with anyone. never had a friend i can trust. never had a partner i could talk to. i have never felt a connection with anyone and i don't feel whole because of it. and now i have a baby, i'm worried no one but her will ever love me. i hate myself. why would anyone like me?

Today's Best Amazon Deals
The Best USB Travel Charger Is Anker's PowerCore Fusion, According To Our Readers
20.49
Available from Amazon
ConfessionPost may receive a commission
Get It On Amazon

No Comments Yet

Account Login
Signup
Is this post inapropriate?
Is this comment inapropriate?
Delete this post?