First sexual experience with my bf

I saw my boyfriend for the first time in months last weekend because of covid. Due to the fact that I have past sexual trauma and I'm very shy, s** is pretty scary to me (he's understanding and is okay with it).
TW for sexual situations, I'll be getting fairly in depth so if that makes you uncomfortable don't read past this.
We were cuddling on the couch watching a movie with our bodies pressed close. Nothing sexual was happening but he got a b****. Normally I would ignore it but I got h**** feeling how hard he was so I turned him towards me and we started kissing. Eventually he was on top of me and I had my thigh between his legs. Just from me rubbing it slightly with my thigh he let out a moan. After I had teased him and he had been kissing my neck for around 20 minutes I felt him getting more needy. He said I could touch him if I wanted and I said yes. I touched his d*** through his underwear at first and then under them, I won't lie, I was nervous as s*** but he helped guide me so I was making him feel good. He was so kind and asked if I was okay multiple times and I did the same for him. After a few minutes he said he was close and ended up c****** in my hand.
That's as far as we went, I know it wasn't much but I expected to feel guilty or bad afterwards and I didn't! I actually felt happy that I could make him feel good and I didn't have any regrets, nor did I get ptsd flashbacks or a panic attack. I know this was a pretty weird thing to share on the internet but its something I want to document. Overall, I'm really happy with it and I think maybe I'll be able to go a little farther next time I see him! :)

Jan 11

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  • Congratulations feels... potentially inappropriate and possibly a bit trite given the context.

    That said. I'm happy for you. I have no idea who you are, but I am so happy you found someone you can trust.

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