Reality Ruins Fantasy

Oh the cycle............fantasy starts with watching videos....until they are not enough...then the ** can't be contained. Seeking more dopamine and rush I find real life to fulfill the desire.

But when it happens for real....the sublime feeling and complete satisfaction it bought comes crashing down.

You see the fantasy didn't have any of the guilt or shame or worry in it. We leave that out when conjuring it up.

Maybe next time it will be just right.....she said and did the wrong thing....or maybe you did....

When you can't get off any more with any substance

When you can't feel anything any more except the hate and bitter

Self hate .......thats what fuels the cycle....

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