I can't escape fat women

I am separated, awaiting my divorce to be finalized. Over the holidays the loneliness hit a fever pitch and I opened up a dating profile on a social media app I already use.

So, I am 40, I'd consider myself reasonably attractive, active, outdoorsy, fit/athletic. I posted profile pics that supported this. I tried to draw attention from women who were also fit/athletic and interested in outdoors activities. I should also mention, my ex is a fat woman, and even though I didn't mind having a fat wife I decided now is the time to make a change to the kind of woman I was with.

Here's what I experienced.

Most women didn't even connect. The ones I most wanted to get to chat with and meet didn't even connect with me, so bummer. Some of the ones that had gym or bikini pics up, the ones I really wanted to get to know...nothing. Most of the women who did connect with me didn't really interact. It felt like pulling teeth to get a conversation going with some of them. After a few one-two word answers I gave up. Some never responded at all.

And because I do like fat girls too, I did try to connect with a couple of them, despite really wanting to pursue something with a more fit/athletic person. What I found were the fat one just ate me up. I spent the new year holiday with a fat chick and we were off to a good start but had several areas that made us incompatible so we broke things off. In the days following I started chatting with several different women of several different body types and fount the ones I connected with the most are all fat women.

I've sort of distanced myself from all but 2 of them. Both are fat women and I've now met both in person. They're both very aggressive kissers and enjoy being touched/held. One admitted she is probably going to gain weight if she gets involved with someone especially given her schedule. I appreciated her honesty.

I have to do this carefully because I truly do consider both of them viable partners for me. I need to make a decision on which one I want to pursue and put everything into that so the other one does not get hurt. Anyway, aside from that I just wonder if the universe has just decided I am meant to be with a fat woman. Like maybe I just never really had a choice? I know it's a small sample, but maybe there's just some kind of vibe flowing out there. Maybe I'm "reserved" for the fat women. It sounds ridiculous but sometimes it sure seems that way.

And if things work out with one of these two, maybe that's ok.

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