Im just used to it...

I kind of forgotten my own self, the young fun memory's i have are the pictures of me in the shoe box in my closet i haven't looked at them for awhile i hate looking at them. It makes me think i just want to go home except the true fact was that i never had a true home all i wanted as a child was to grow up in a household that held love and affection in it except it didn't I had to work my ass of to get one "Good job" even then my mom was always late and my dad never there so i had to face the fact that i had to grow up faster than everybody else and never expect much from them. I stop crying when they were late or not there cause i knew i was a mistake but my mother did a good job at hiding it until she didn't. now i get told how much of a disapointment i am. and the one true fact that im scared of is that i just got used to the toxic love and now i push everyone away that try's to care that trys to do something i got used to the loneliness i got used to the feeling and now im scared of anything that's actually true is just another lying b**** under a fake face and i will never get rid of that

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  • Don't feel bad. I grew up with lots of love, buy as an adult at age 46, I've been single for over 20 g*d da*n years because of an impotency issue I've had since I was 18m Based on what I do for a living, I get a lot of respect from people to the point of not mentioning what I do for a living, because it reminds me that, even people claim to 'respect' me, I'm obviously not good enough as evidenced by the fact that I'm not 'good enough' for any woman to desire. I don't feel bitter, but I kind of resent 'humanity' to the point of looking forward to dying, even though I'm not suicidal. I've been trying to keep strong, but this bs is getting old. That being said, I think you should do whatevee makes you happy, if you can can figure out what it is and expect people to be dirt bags even though they smile in your face and make idiotic comments about grammar as one of the muppets responding to you did. Love yourself, because there is nobody else that will don't for you.

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  • I guess you also didn’t learn to write.

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