Im just used to it...

I kind of forgotten my own self, the young fun memory's i have are the pictures of me in the shoe box in my closet i haven't looked at them for awhile i hate looking at them. It makes me think i just want to go home except the true fact was that i never had a true home all i wanted as a child was to grow up in a household that held love and affection in it except it didn't I had to work my ** of to get one "Good job" even then my mom was always late and my dad never there so i had to face the fact that i had to grow up faster than everybody else and never expect much from them. I stop crying when they were late or not there cause i knew i was a mistake but my mother did a good job at hiding it until she didn't. now i get told how much of a disapointment i am. and the one true fact that im scared of is that i just got used to the toxic love and now i push everyone away that try's to care that trys to do something i got used to the loneliness i got used to the feeling and now im scared of anything that's actually true is just another lying ** under a fake face and i will never get rid of that

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