Can't forgive and forget.

My step dad is a manipulative a******. I hate him!!!! And the worst part is people think it's because he's my step dad and not my biological one, who by the way was never in my life after the divorce. I just hate him with every fibre of my being because he's harrassing me, he has abused me and gave me mental issues, even drove me towards suicide.
I've gone for therapy and for a while it got better. But we just pretend nothing ever happened. Worse part is even though my mom took my side during therapy I'm afraid he's still got her wrapped around his fat finger. And that she's actually forgiven him just because she doesn't want to be alone.
I thought I could forgive and forget too. But it's hard and I can't do it. I can't, because he doesn't deserve forgiveness. He deserves the most miserable, sleep w painful death known to mankind. I have to pretend to be alright when I'm around this f***** and whenever he comes up in a conversation. This scumbag has ruined my life and my mental health so much that I don't think I could ever have a healthy relationship of my own. I want to kill him. I really do. Although, I'm afraid that'll never happen.
I'm thankful I found this site, I must admit I don't know how it works exactly but,l I hope I can connect with people who suffers the same.

Aug 28, 2021

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  • I was abused by my dad beating me up when I was a kid. I was a boy who was taught nothing from him other than getting to know what it’s like receiving the end of a belt. Through my teenage years I’ve endured his ignorance until the day I gave him my first straight punch to his f****** face. He was bleeding all over. That was when the abuse stopped once & for all.

    Now that I’m a man in my thirties having a job & somehow financially stable, I will always remember how much obstacles I’ve got to overcome in life on my own. From my academic education to my spiritual enlightenment to all the skills I’ve attained in life, I have always been taking each step up on my own while I see others always having the support of their old folks or family members at the very least. I can’t say much about my mom cause she has always been dragged along with my dad’s nonsense. My siblings being estranged too- all of which could of been a strong bonding household if it weren’t for him.

    Looking back at my dad now, I can see how lazy he is doing nothing but just laying back at home for the last twenty or so years, IMAGINE THAT! Everyday I’m always hoping that he would pass rather than just being a body or dead weight in our house without a soul. Everyday there’ll be a period of hours when he’d just stare into nothing. My mom confessed to me once how tired she was of him at times. Cause it seems like that’s what he just wants to do everyday for the rest of his f****** life, however much there is left now, just to do NOTHING! And he was always lazy even from before, not wanting to do anything to improve anything other than always depending on people for anything. F*** him!

    I never had a father figure in life, I have to be my own even till this day. Many people who were affected by this sort of thing usually would end up not right but thank God not for me. So don’t give up. First thing you do is separate your path from him. I wish you success.


  • My aunt is so caring to me .. i feel so loved.. more so in bed with here


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