Last Chance For Courage
I contacted a man I have always been in love with after 20 years. I was involved with someone else. I felt the need to talk to him and see where life had taken him. I found out he had cancer and didn't have long to live. I loved my boyfriend. We had been through a lot together. I didn't think it was right to destroy his world when I had not let the other guy affect us before this. I kept in contact with him and was completely truthful with my boyfriend about him. I couldn't hurt him like that so I stayed with him and he did me. We had a hard time because of my decision to keep in contact with my lost love. I wanted the other guy to know how I felt about him and to know I always would, so I told him. He was confused at first but soon didn't dwell on it. We just enjoyed our communication and affection for each other in the short amount of time we had. I feel like that time was given to both of us and feel blessed, but I don't feel the closure I thought I would. I just feel selfish because I never went to him or made him mine before he died. It makes me feel almost sick. I knew I didn't have much time and I still didn't have the courage for some reason just like in those 20 yrs.