I'm a religious, closeted bisexual

As a kid, I watched Spy Kids 3 all the time. I became obsessed with Demetra, the purple girl. To avoid suspicion, I told everyone I had a crush on Arnold, the red boy, but that wasn't true. I was in LOVE with Demetra; even wrote my first poem about her.

Fast-forward to on-campus college, I came out as bisexual to my bi roommate, lesbian supervisor, pansexual RA, transgender coworker, and basically anyone I wanted. I even attended pride events. It was extremely freeing to actually say it out loud.

My only regret is not having a girl-on-girl experience. Then it hit me... girls don't find me attractive because of my religious appearance. In my religion, we have to cover up and that... might turn people off in the sense that religion is seasoned with homophobia.

Now, I'm on college break and I feel closeted again. I express my attraction to women, girls, and feminine energy but they just side-eye me. I'm worried this and the internalized homophobia from my religious upbringing will keep me from actually being with a woman.

5 days

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