I wish we had stayed closer.

I didn't really know what category to put this under but anyway, A friend of mine passed away a little over a year ago and I have been thinking about her, I wish we would have stayed closer, More than just facebook friends but there may be multiple factors, I came to realize late in my first year of college that my preference was females. I had my first hookup in first year and it was just kind of a drunk, Carried away thing with my boyfriend and a girl who lived two doors down in res, She propositioned me a time or two after that but I was too shy and just laughed it off but I thought about it a lot and before the end of first year I dumped my boyfriend and went home for the summer, Had a couple hookups with dudes back home and never really super enjoyed any of them.
I came back to school for second year and had 3 room mates, Met a ton of people in like the first week and kind of hit it off (As friends) with a girl who took over the room of the girl I had hooked up with the year before. As soon as I seen her I was drawn to her and struck up a conversation, She started out meek and mild and turned into a party animal that first year, Their place was always the party place and I spent a lot of time there and hung out with her quite a bit, We had 2 classes together so I would often go over to her place in the mornings and I was an early riser, She was not so I would let myself in and go to her room, Let myself into her room and just play on her computer and mess around but I couldn't keep my eyes off her most mornings.
Oh my god, She always slept nude and she was just so perfectly built, Just over 5 feet tall, Small but curvy, Wide hips, Smallish b****, Her legs....Mmmm, Those legs, She was all over freckly and just such a beautiful girl, usually she would be half covered or just a little bit of something showing and I would literally sit there just soaked looking at her, Then she would wake up and roll over, Stretch and say "Ugh, Already?, Do I have to" or something like that and I would talk to her as she drug herself out of bed and got ready. She was sooooo gorgeous and innocent looking.
I was 5 1/2 feet tall and average built but had massive b****, Still do and am contemplating a reduction but I used them one afternoon to start a conversation when it was just me and her sitting in her room with the door closed, No one else home and just having a couple drinks in her room, We were just hanging out and I was drooling over everything about her and then...I said my bra was bothering me and she said "Whatever, take it off, It's just us", I played coy and said "No peeking", She said "Pfffft....Like I am not going o look at those, Like for real", I fake gasped and said "Stop it perv", We laughed and I took off my shirt which was not necessary but I wanted to show her and then took off my bra.
She sat and stared with one eyebrow up and I laughed and said "yeah, Yeah, I know" she said "No, I just...How the f***", I siad "What???", She said "Seriously??? how are they so.....Firm?", I laughed and said "I don't know, Ask my mom, I got them from her". I spent way longer than needed with no shirt on and looked down, Cupped them and played with them, We both laughed and I said "I wish they were more like your size", She said "pfffft, No you don't" I talked her into taking her top off and I dont even doubt that my discomfort was obvious but she probably didn't realize why but I said "Oh my god girl, So beautiful, You're crazy".
She shrugged and said "Nah, I don't like them", I couldn't help it and said "May I?", She nodded and I cupped one, Oh god, I was so in heaven, that's about all that happened but we did sit topless for an oddly long time. Months went by and I continued drooling over her basically every morning and then I met my current girlfriend, We are going on 20 years now and are only more and more in love every day but she is the only person who knows this story because we were both involved and I told her everything after my other friend passed.
We started hanging out more and more and we were both interested but apprehensive until one night it was actually the three of us out bar hopping and doing dumb college girl stuff, We went back to my place and my girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch together, My other friend was curled up in the arm chair and no one else was home, She dozed off and my girlfriend kissed me, It was like an explosion and we both kept nervously watching my other friend so she didn't wake up. The smart move would have been to go to my room but we weren't in smart mode.
Tops off, My girlfriend and I were laying down, She flipped my skirt up, I put one foot on the back of the couch and she went right to work, I was mid o***** when I heard my friend who had been curled up sleeping in he chair whisper "Whoa....Hooollly...Uuuhhhh", My girlfriend froze, I froze, Both of us I am sure looked like cartoon characters with our eyeballs about to pop out of our heads but she stood there staring at...basically my vag, My girlfriend sat up and I sat up, I walked her to the door...Well lets say chased her to the door and she turned to face me as I stood there in nothing but my skirt I said "Wait, Wait, Just talk to me", She said "Hey....It's all good, Jus not...My scene", she hugged me and whispered "Go...Seriously...You do you...Well...Or her" and left.
Blah, Blah, Blah we did and the next morning she rolled over and I was in her room, It was saturday and the only time she ever covered herself in front of me, I blabbered on about how embarrassed I was and she just said "Stop, Don't apologize, For real, I do not care one bit", We talked and talked and I eventually went home, We stayed close and she hung out with us like it was all cool, She picked up dudes and me and my girlfiend went home together, We ould have makeout sessions with her and a dude on one couch and me and my girlfriend on the other, We would go to our own rooms and it was all cool.
She met a guy, fell hard and he turned out to be a douche who banged her room mate third year and she got hit hard, Me and my girlfiend took her out and we all got wayyy drunk and she went on and on about how we had done it right, She kept talking about "Switching teams" and so on and when we went home we went to our place and had a drink then she was getting ready to leave and stood up, said "You guys are probably gonna do it aren't you?", we both laughed and said "probably", My girlfriend shocked me by asking if she wanted to stay and I think I felt a little bit of...Jealousy, Shock, excitement, Just a whole bundle of emotions in one second and my friend made a pouty face and nodded yes.
I don't even know, My mind was just a blur and clothes started peeling off, We didn't even think about other people coming home which eneded up really bad because we were still keeping it secret but I think we were all naked by the time we got to my room, I only remember bits and pieces but I remember sitting in my desk chair watching my friend face down, Butt in the air and my girlfriend on her hands and knees behind her licking her, We were all over, Everyone was all over each other and my girlfriend got off, needed a break and I got on top of my friend, we sixty nined and it was just one solid o***** for like ten minutes, She was so perfect down there and I just wanted to go and go but my leg cramped up and I had to stop, My friend said "Oh god, that was so amazing, I want more and I watched as her and my girlfiend got back together, It was back and forth and switching and my friend was like a marathon runner, She just had no quit in her.
Eventually we all fell asleep in my queen bed and then the next morning we all got outted, I woke up, Went to the washroom, Came back and they both woke up shortly after, My friend was embarrassed and borrowed some clothes then we both decided to walk her out, You never knew who was going to be home at our place but of course that morning everyone was home, We hit the bottom of the stairs and there was a pile of clothes, We quickly rifled through and found our bras, Panties, Skirts and tops and realized our other room mates were at the table, two other girls we knew and one dude.
It was 100% obvious what had gone on and as my friend grabbed the door handle she turned to face us and it was so awkward, I was like "s***, What do I do", I leaned in, Leaned back then in again and kissed her, My girlfriend kissed her and she left, I turned around and everyone was just staring with their mouths open, My girlfriend and I went back to my room and after that it was basically common knowledge and my other friend avoided us for a bit but did end up coming over a dozen or so more times after that but eventually met her forever man and after college she moved away, I moved away and we just stayed friends on social media, I wish we would have stayed closer and I miss her now that she is gone and feel guilt over not trying to be closer with her.

Jan 21

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