Born a sadistic necrophile?

As a kid was always had violent and destructive thoughts. for example id imagine decorating the classroom with my classmates corpses like art. i found it arousing and got genuinely excited from those thoughts. not out of malice or anything just pure boredom. 6th grade i grew out of the extreme violence and sort of just admired corpses themselves. i remember a girl had a heatstroke and collapsed, that was the hottest thing id ever seen. this happened in 6th grade btw. i know i prob sound like some sick evil f*** but i swear im a chill dude. other than my kink id say im more normal than your average joe. i have a job, currently in college, normal hobbies, morning jogs, all that stuff. so why am i like this. was i just born this way?

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