Dating a BPD Tumultuous Hottie

I had dated a colleague about eight years ago. I was 10 years older but she was interested in me, and as much as I knew she was younger with different interests, and even acted younger than her actual age, she was strikingly beautiful and kept strangely hitting on me, so I finally accepted her advances very curious about her. We started a string of heated on and off dating and breaking up for 1.5 years, including s** in the office, hotels, parks, my place and her place. When we first met, P______ was married and she separated from her husband shortly after, also kicking her husband out of their matrimony house with claims of his abuse to her; which we all believed was true at the time. What I later found out about P______ was her explosive personality, fear of abandonment, switching from adoring me, compliments, to hating me, deeply insulting me, accusing me of ridiculous claims of cheating to ignoring her; afterwards, being sorry and needing to makeup with some incredible s**.
At work one day she said to me "you look so stressed honey, poor baby, come with me, and let’s take a walk. She took me to the work parkade area where she said for us to drive (which I thought we were going somewhere) she said to stop under a darker parking spot, where she proceeded to give me an earth-shattering BJ. People from our building had walked by (lunchtime) and I tried to stop her pulling her hair back and telling her they were watching, but she proceeded, grinning, moaning and whimpering - while I exploded in her throat; I'm pretty sure they saw and tried to look away.
The worst and most embarrassing situation were during the first time I had stayed over at her place, only a few weeks after she kicked her husband out of the house, saying to me and everyone at work in our group, that her R*** was incredibly abusive to her. I believed in what she said, why would she lie, I thought. That night before we had played until the early morning 3-4 hours of intense F******, she was so beautiful, sexy and naughty; she totally turned up my game. Her husband called her that morning and they got into a huge argument over something with P______ yelling at him; After her call with her husband, she came out of the shower back to bed, dolled so sexy and sweet, and said to me "if you want you can F*** my A** with this cute sultry little grin. Of course, ... I'm a guy, and I didn't hesitate and began an hour+ session of pounding her from behind a hand full of hair, with her face pushed up against the master bedroom window, looking out on the street. She yelled out how good it felt and how big I was inside her compared to R*** (her husband Which I knew was probably exaggerated) and told me to use her like a personal F*** toy and to F*** her tiny A** until I shoot my c** inside her. I was so rock hard and so turned on by her complete slutty behavior and finished deep as per her request. It was so incredibly hot and I reached around to play with her Cl** the way she likes it teasing a bit stroking both sides, not too much direct contact o the cl** the way my tongue would finish her; and we both came really hard.
After we were done playing, she ran the shower to warm it for us both and I went downstairs briefly before showering to turn the coffee machine on. About eight steps down, I could see a pair of shoes under the kitchen table that I didn't recognize and as I kept walking, I could see legs and her husband R*** who had obviously let himself in. I was so horrified and embarrassed to think of what he must have heard his wife say to me, especially knowing that he was trying to get back together with her and would call her at work. :( I can only imagine how I would feel if it were me sitting there, and it was awkward. I said a casual hello how are you? but he didn't respond he just looked down at the floor, stoic and a bit sad. I went upstairs and told P______ quite concerned that her husband was in the kitchen and likely heard everything. She said "I know, Good, I'm glad and I don't really care - don't worry about it". I couldn't imagine how she could be that cruel to someone that she once chose to Marry and was the father of their daughter. In the back of my mind is that guy could be me too - with her.

Within six months we were in couples counselling. Many sessions she started screaming, yelling and swearing at me over her accounts of my issues, sharing with the couple’s counselor who was a bit shocked when she started yelling and swearing and I was embarrassed and apologized, which made her angrier. One day when P______ was late the couple’s counselor gave me some literature about BPD (borderline personality disorder), which I had never heard the term before and asked me to read it when I had some time. At first, I thought it was her view of me, and I was a bit concerned, until I saw her hand written notes with P______'s name and underlining traits which every trait was her personality, and methods of how to cope together for families.
Thank God P______ broke up with me again, and I had the brief common sense to refuse the opportunity to reunite, however it was followed by her stocking me home at times, impacting my reputation and employment and calling me at my new work-place not saying anything - a bit concerning too. I must admit, the sexual chemistry was the most incredible and she had this really sweet, beautiful, funny side to her (real I don't know), just the other bat-s*** crazy manipulative side had way too much scary drama and felt it was impossible to have or share a normal life with her. I truly hope she's well today, since I had loved her once, but I fear that is not likely the case. I heard she had other fallout relationships after me. I hope she's in a good relationship now with some help.
During the Amber Heard vs Johnny Depp Trial, the AH recordings were scarily familiar, and triggered all of these crazy memories.

Jun 7

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  • My ex had BPD. Non-stop s** but was definitely not worth it.

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