Need guidance

Ive been bulimic for almost 6 years along with orthorexic behaviors and chewing and spitting.
everyone in my family has some idea of it but dossnt ask to many questions hoping it will just go away before they need to take any action, or they just have the thats how it is attitude about it. ive had my grandma say to me " i used to hear you when you were little throwing up, i knew what was going on you should have told someone" - i was 10-

i know my family is no help but with them being the only people around and not really having friends i kinda burst out venting about it sometimes. my mom just gets overwhelmed, tells me im ok and have bigger problems, and trys to pinpoint my stress on something else

its getting so tiring and i dont know what to do anymore im choking on tears even typing this its caused me to loose my period completely for a year, fail school from being so mentally consumed, i dont even know what i any of my real interests are since my whole life revolves around food and exercise, i feel like i never got to know myself im not really there.

i dont want to get help through my family theyll just Minimize the situation and make light of it. but i still dont know what to do i feel really stuck

Jul 3

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