Being feminine

When i first watched a p*** as a boy with my school friends i got turned on not because i saw naked women, but because i was imagining being like them. And each time i j*** off it is only for dreaming of myself as a w**** getting the pleasure of having c**** in my asspussy. As i grew older countless times i tried to deny the feminine side of me & doing manly things to overcome it. I’d always at times ended up wearing a bra & riding my bolster pillow imagining it as a man f****** me, making me moan & excited with pleasure of being a female. Now at 37, i realize I can’t run away from this little female demon living inside of me which is what I suppose i am meant to be. It is just waiting for me to let it take over. I know now I can’t fight this feeling of becoming a woman because that’s what i think i am. I have family members who’d see this the wrong way due to their being bullshit religious. Maybe that’s why I’m always holding back & i really want out of this. If only a mistress or a real man would take me away so i can finally transform myself into the woman i always wanna be, I’d be so happy with my new self.

30 days

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