Natural ** struggles with Submitting to Very Dominate Spouse

I am a very strong, intelligent, independent woman. I am naturally bold, loud, outspoken, opinionated, educated, and also very beautiful. I am blessed with not only a very ** curvy body, but with some self care rituals, I have maintained a gorgeous smile and flawless skin. I am only 32 years old but I can probably pass for 25. I have always worn the pants in every one of my relationships and I always felt like I was ‘’more manly” than most of my boyfriend, especially since I felt like I could out lift them in the gym if any of them ever had the ** to take me up on it. Anyways, my current boyfriend is double my age. Yes, he is 63! No, he is not my daddy nor is he my sugar daddy. Although lately I feel like the term daddy is becoming more and more fitting. He is very experienced in The realm of ** and I would say he is extremely sadistic. At 15, he ran off to a ** Commune in California (we are both born and raised Louisianans) with his at the time English Teacher. He learned more about **, Kinks, Fetishes, Humiliation, Denial, and TORTURE at such a young age that I’m not sure if he ever had a relationship that wasn’t based on this. Well, until now. I grew up on the internet, with pop up ** and live chat rooms with strangers having virtual **. I definitely thought that I was going to be more than he could handle when it came to the ** department. I WAS SO WRONG! This old man is determined to ‘train’ me to be his personal ** slave. Originally he wanted me to sign documents and everything, which is hilarious. I could never agree to something like that! Anyways, when we first met, he was very adamant about sharing our kinks and learning what gets each other going, like really going. Well I thought I was going to blow his mind with my totally vanilla kinks of giving head in a store which led to my removal and banning from the store, or my desire to have total control over my lover and him trusting me to have ownership of his **. I mean I am so turned on my putting my man in a chastity cage and wearing the key around my neck, only taking him out when it is time to have an ** or if I want to edge him while giving him a tantric/** massage, focusing on his prostate and **. I would love to be in control of my man like that, and trust me when I say that my man would benefit greatly if he put his trust in me totally like I stated above. I would literally make sure that he was always taken care of, in every aspect. Anyways, my current bf insisted that I watch ** of his liking with him, not like I had much of a choice considering he spends MOST of his free time watching. After about 30 seconds in, I was mortified, scared to death. He enjoys ** **! And the girl looked underage! After my shock wore off there, we moved on to his homemade flicks. These were really scary to me because it was actually him. He tied girls up and tortured them! He would squeeze and twist their ** so hard that their ** were black and blue. They had blisters, bruises and scabs from the small of their back to the middle of their thighs. The women were begging him to let them go, to stop causing the pain. Free them if **! And the more they begged, the more into the scene he was..

Am I supposed to try this ? I have a feeling that death is the end result because these women couldn’t possibly just walk away from this, unfazed. Part of me is scared to death, and the other part of me gets dripping ** wet thinking about begging him to stop.. so I’m still here waiting to find out what the end of the game is! In the meantime, we both struggle with our dominance and we both try to be alpha. Talk about the real life hunger games!

…to be continued.