A theory about why I feel so trapped.

From my early childhood all the way to today and even in the future, I've always had a feeling that I was trapped in my life. I'm stuck in a job with no chance of escaping it. I still live with my parents even though I'd rather live by myself. When I was in high school, I was forced into going on a date with a female student that I didn't want to go to, I was forced into going to a school dance. After high school, even though I was graduated, I was not given a diploma so that I could attend another school for reasons I don't remember. I was even forced to go to another school in Johnstown to learn computer repair even although I already had a job at McDonald's but I lost it due to going to that stupid school. I got another job eventually at a supermarket. One day, a few years ago, I decided to just up and leave on a day I'm supposed to work. I got through 3 1/2 states before something in me made me feel that I had to return home, so I did. At one point in my childhood, I was free to do what I wanted, my parents were both loving and kind and I felt like I belonged in the world I was in. That all changed one day when I ended up going to the hospital. The house I used to live in had an attic where we kept the Atari. One day, I ran up to the attic but, halfway up the stairs, I tripped and cut my chin on the edge of the steps.My mom called for an ambulance and although it only took a few minutes for the paramedics to convince me to go with them. In the ambulance, I passed out. I woke up some time later to my parents talking and I couldn't see them, just hear them. I felt the stitches in my chin and pulled them out before passing out again. Many years later, my dad told me I was in a state of shock for two weeks. The thing is, I don't remember much of the weeks that happened after that. The only things I am aware of is that my parents, both loving and nice are now mean and abusive and the sense of freedom I got was gone and now I just felt like I didn't belong anymore. My theory is this. What if I never actually regained consciousness like my dad said? What if I'm actually still unconscious and everything I'm experiencing is some sort of dream like state. It's been stated that people can't feel anything in a dream but, the truth is when I have dreams, I can feel everything. What if everything I've experienced since "waking up" after the accident is just a very long dream I can't and probably won't wake up from? Maybe that's why I feel so trapped. Because I'm still unconscious and will never wake up to the world I really come from.

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