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I put out on the first date to judge...
I confess that I put out on the first date to judge them. I have ** hundreds of people because I am convinced once most people are intimate, they have no interest in that conquest any more. I can easily be loyal, and want to be monogamous, but I have discovered people will like, cheat, manipulate, and do anything to **. I was sick of my heart being played with but still enjoyed **.
** is such a high motivator people do anything for it. I have become more invested in the lengths people go... instead of beung forthright. So you are going to lie to me? Fine, I'll watch you lie, cheat, run yourself ragged and give zero **.
Before this I was with one partner, my high school sweetheart I married. Marriage turned abusive after children were born. I was faithful and loyal. I was told i was the perfect partner... too perfect and thats why they had to cheat. I became a **.
It is the fastest way to determine if my partner is serious - once they get what they want. I find this method saved me from being emotionally damaged and it has been successful. I slept with a partner every other day for a few years.
I've had people want to get married after **. I've had people vanish after **. I've made lifelong friends after **. I've never once resulted in a romantic relationship afterwards. So. I went to therapy for help because I was told this was exceptionally dangerpus to my mental health. I had a therapuat who discouraged it. I said I'd try celebacy l. I didn't sleep around for SEVEN YEARS. Devastated each and every last time. Because even celibate I'd rather people play with my ** than my heart.
Decided I was miserable. Started ** people again. I am now convinced there is no such thing as romance, love, or anything like that. I will die alone but - die well ** and with a whole heart.
Keep sliding into my DMs. I will ** you. Judge you. And I'm not sorry about it. I'll listen to your lies and promises, ** you, and watch what happens next with detached interest to only go home and cry when you show me who i knew you'd be.
This is probably the most honest thing I have ever read and I fully support it and you.