I'm in an abusive relationship

I am in a D/s relationship with a man. I am none binary, cis male and he is training me to be his sissy **. I didn't even want to do Daddy/girl stuff.
The abusive part is that he messages me, orders me to do stuff online, or to tell him something private while exposed and degrading myself, or humiliates me in some other way. However, I don't know anything about him. Not even what he really looks like. He blindfolds and ties me up, and then uses me. I don't know what else he does but I am sure he records me. Then he will drop me off somewhere and I am not allowed to take the blind fold off till he leaves. I did once, but he was hiding behind me and saw me. I don't want to say what he did to me.
He demands that I record myself or video chat him, and do humiliating things, but he never turns his camera on, and never comment as to whether or he liked it. I am complete under his control and I am faithful to him 100% but he still makes me get STD tests all the time. I wanted a D/s relationship with give and take. I wanted to be able to have a master of mistress who took care of me, punished me when I am bad, and using me like a **, but understands aftercare.
He wants to drive me blindfolded into a national parks, tie me to a tree and ** me on and off throughout the day. If I am not good he said he might leave me over night. I know I will let him do it. I will not be able to say no. I can't walk away become he will ruin my life. I am a ** black teacher, but I keep my private life complete to myself. He know that if he exposes me to my school, my life would be in danger. Everyone hates black **/trans people. They stupidly think if you are a teacher you must be trying to harm your students. The truth is that I just want to help dyslexic kids to read and write, because I have dyslexia. But if word gets out that I am also a trans girl who has been sexual humiliating and debasing myself for a white man, who I don't even know, someone will probably dox me. So either I continue in this relationship, and let his abuse get worst and worst, or I walk away and suffer abuse from everyone else in society. I wonder what it would be like to have someone touch me without being ashamed and disgusted my me. Or to be able to look at, or touch a lover with blind, gagged and **.
If he kills me, no one will care. Most people will be happy I am gone.

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