37 (M) desperately wants 64 (F) friend and co-worker

I'm a young looking 37 year old guy. I could probably pass for low 30s easily.

When Covid hit in 2020 I was laid off from my full time job. I found myself working a ** job with a big online retailer. The work was menial and the pay was horrible, but it got me through and kept my rent paid.

As bad as it was to go into work each day, there was a positive to the time I spent there. I formed very close friendships with three coworkers. We were our own little group. We all had very different backgrounds. We all had different reasons for being there. There were two guys and two women. And the three of us ranged in age from 22-62. That said, we all got along really well. It was fun and easy and hanging out at work together helped pass the time. The eldest of our group was a fun, kind of kooky, incredibly funny, older woman. Sort of the motherly figure. At 62 she could still hang though. For 6-7 months she was 100% a very good friend and someone I cared about, but nothing more than that.

Then the bars and restaurants starting to reopen in our city. Our group was able to expand our friendship out of the confines of work. We ended up making plans, met at a local pizza place, and ordered drinks. It was nice seeing everyone in their non-work clothes, getting a little drunk, and blowing off steam. It was so fun that we decided to go back to the older woman's house and continue to party.

After 2 more hours of drinking at her house the others slowly started making their exits. They said their goodbyes, leaving me alone with this overly nice, sweet, wholesome, 62 year old woman. Just the two of us sitting on her patio talking and laughing. The thing is, after a night of drinks and fun, there at that moment, on her patio loveseat, so close that our legs were touching, I stopped seeing her as just a friend.

From that night forward the wholesome friend vibe completely disappeared and in it's place I was left with an intense sexual attraction towards her. Maybe it was her very nice, very large ** and the way they filled out her top. At work they were covered by some kind of work attire. Maybe it together the low cut neckline showing off her insane tanned cleavage. Maybe it was the way her lip gloss accentuated her full lips. Maybe it was just the drinks and the closeness of her body. Whatever it was, at that moment (and every time I've seen her since) I saw her as a complete ** silver haired fox. I remember thinking, "**, she's so **. I would ** her. I WANT to ** her".

As I listened to her talk I had this urge to place my hand on her leg and slide it up her thigh. I wanted to kiss her. I felt like she was feeling similarly towards me too. Unfortunately I chickened out and didn't make my move that night. I just wasn't positive. I didn't want to make things awkward. But now I fantasize about her all the time.

We don't see each other often anymore. We aren't coworkers now. We are hanging out next weekend though. I'm going for it! The worst that could happen is things get a little awkward. The best is we spend the weekend together **.

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