I have no intentions to stop starving myself
I know it's bad, that I'm killing myself. I know why I'm light headed and get headaches. I worry that I'm probably causing brain damage. I know why my body hurts, why I have to abuse caffeine just to function during the day. That anything that is lost will be gained back when I start eating normally. But I have no intentions of eating like that again. After years of counting calories, working out 5-7 days a week, maintianing a calorie deficit, restricting my diet away from soda, fast food, refined carbs and anything else bad for you to no avail I have finally started loosing weight. And for the first time in a very long time I can actually look at myself in a mirror without getting sick to my stomach. But I start to wonder, is this me trying to be thin, or maybe it's me finally going through with killing myself.