I’m not sure of my sexual orientation anymore

I’m a 26 year old woman and for the longest time I knew I liked girls. My first kiss was actually was with one when I was a kid and I came back so excited telling my family I had my first kiss. When I told them it was a girl they apparently “set me straight”. I was maybe 5 or 6 at the time. I have a pretty homophobic family so I’ve repressed a lot of those feelings. I’ve only dated men throughout the years and only kissed girls when I was drunk. That’s a pretty common thing so I didn’t think much of it. Ive been a bit more accepting of myself in the last few years, understanding that I’m pansexual, I just have a hard time dating outside of men because they’re all I’m used to dating. But recently these feelings have been shifting and I just don’t know anymore. The last few guys Ive dated I hated having ** with them. I hated being “lovey dovey”. It felt forced and weird. I thought maybe it was because I’m getting older and maybe I just don’t like those things anymore. But now that I have a huge crush on this girl I just don’t even know if I like men anymore and everything just seems to make more sense to me now. I’m really trying not to repress these feelings.

May 15

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