I think I might be in love with my

I think I might be in love with my boss. But I don't know him well enough to say for sure. I've never been so sexually attracted to anyone in my life. I know we would have great s**. I love how visceral he is. I love how he moves. I love how his voice sounds. It's totally from the heart. It sounds like he is utterly guileless. When I first started working at my company (which I totally hate) I fell in love with the sound of his voice from down the hall. I was sitting at someone else's desk and I couldn't see him. I was just drawn in. It was like no one could speak so authentically from the heart. Sometimes I feel like no one sees or appreciates that about him. He's a corporate guy and he acts very boyish and I think sometimes people don't take him seriously. But it doesn't matter how they see him, he works so hard and is so smart he accomplishes his goals regardless. I fantasize about telling him how wonderful I think he is. I fantasize about helping him "grow up" into his new position as vice president and take himself seriously. But he's a corporate guy and I'm an artsy chick who took a secretarial job just temporarily, for the money. I have no idea what he's really like. Sometimes I think we are both uncomfortable around each other because there's nothing to say. I don't fit into this horrible company, I feel like I'm in a foreign country and everyone hates me and thinks I'm a wierdo for behaving like a normal human and being kind and cooperative. Because they are catty, corporate back-stabbing wierdos. But that's a tangent. Anyway, sometimes during that awkwardness, I could swear that he is attracted to me! I'm his age (30) and I am reasonably pretty. So it isn't inconcievable. But he's shy, private, and sometimes despite all that, acts like a big j***. He won't trust me. He is weirdly private, so I try not to pry into his life, but at the same time I'm opening all his mail, credit card statements, home loan s***, etc. So I don't know where the boundary is. If I do ask a polite question, he sort of feels too guarded or embarrassed to answer. (For example, he just bought a new house, a fixer-upper project, but didn't want to talk about it. Meanwhile, I'm faxing all his loan docs...so, am I not supposed to remark that he's buying a house? It's wierd) And I do the same thing to him when he asks me questions--I sort of give a vague, shallow, shy answer, only in my case it's because I'm afraid of showing that I have a crush on him and looking unprofessional. I fantasize that he has a crush on me, and that that's why he's guarded, but it could also be that he doesn't want to talk to me because he knows how I feel and it irritates him. How could he find that irritating?? I hate him. I let my burrito get cold while writing this, and now I'm sitting her eating a cold burrito. I can't believe I have no life and I'm doing this. He would never write this s*** for me. Someday, probably soon, I will storm into his office and either quit, grab him and start making out, or punch him in the face. I welcome your feedback.

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  • Tell him! Im sure he would be very happy to hear all of that!

  • You sound like a lame!

  • Tell him the truth, when you're ready to leave the job. Leave the job, no matter what. You'll be fine. I've been in your shoes before. I am that "artsy secretary" sometimes, too.

  • you hate this job, so you are probably going to quit at sometime, right? that's when you finally confess. the road not taken sucks! and if it doesn't work out, well h***, you're leaving anyway.

  • "Sometimes I think we are both uncomfortable around each other because there's nothing to say."

    This is the biggest sign you may get from him. Before you move on ask the question you so badly want to ask! Dont leave this as a " if only" for the rest of your life. But go easy on him sounds like he may have been bitten before.

  • you sure have a lot of time on your hands. i would give you feedback, but i think you are just lonely

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