What I have to confess is way to complex to go on here.
If you want to know the sordid details of what I have to get off my chest, you'll have to come visit me in person. We'll sit down next to the fireplace and I will provide the most graphic explanation of all that I have experienced. Only come over if you are seriously interested. This story is not for anyone with a weak stomach or minors. So, please stop by. I'll leave the light on for you.