Blondes

Even though I have several friends who are blonde, I hate blondes, at least in the abstract. I hate what they represent, and I hate the actual hair color. I hate the way they can get away with treating men and still have men chase after them. I hate that they don't even need to say anything intelligent to be desired. The blonde girls I've known have been great friends. Yet deep down, I hate them all and I want to rid the world of blondes (but just the girls).

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  • Know how to drown a blonde?
    Put a "scratch and sniff" on the bottom of the pool.
    Hear about the blonde who took her scarf back to the store?
    It was too tight.
    What do you call seven blondes in a freezer?
    Frosted flakes.
    What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
    Thanks for the refill.
    How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
    Shine a flashlight in her ear.
    What did the blonde ask the doctor when he told her she was pregnant
    "Is it mine?"
    What do a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
    They're both empty from the neck up.
    Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
    So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
    Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jig-saw puzzle in only 6 months?
    Because the box said 2 to 4 years.
    Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
    The vegetable garden.
    How can you tell if a blonde has been typing on the computer?
    There's white-out on the screen.
    Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in the back seat?
    Just in case she locked herself out of the car.
    Why did the blonde have tire marks on her back?
    Because she crawled across the street when the sign said "don't walk".
    What so you call a blonde at a university?
    A visitor.
    Why do blondes smile during a lightning storm?
    They think they're getting their picture taken.
    How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
    There's lipstick on your cucumbers.
    How can you tell if a FAX has been sent by a blonde?
    There's a stamp on it.
    How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
    She's the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.
    How did the blonde die drinking milk?
    Cow fell on her.
    What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
    The job still sucks after six months.

  • ^^^ Umm yeah like, I'ma blond 2! Like, everything she said I agree with. Like ttly! Uh... like that's so cool that we have so much in common.

  • Uh... As a blonde female, and an at least marginally intelligent blonde female at that, have several problems with this post. The majority of them come from personal experience, and my complete lack of desire to treat men with any kind of disrespect or even mild cruelty.

    I do face a certain amount of prejudice, in that any intelligent contribution I DO make is ignored on the basis that I am blonde and therefore only permitted to look pretty and f*** whoever "chases after me". Oh, and giggle. I'm allowed to giggle. And make sandwiches. Actually, I quite like making sandwiches. I'll cut the tangent off here.

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