I love you but don't want the responsibility of you. I don't want your temper, your stonewalling, your egocentric point of view that makes everything about you no matter how insignificant. You're 34. Can't you grow up and realize there's other people in the room besides you? You want to be part of a couple but the only perspective you're willing to recognize is your own. That's what 4 year olds do!
I can't stand that you will see someone in a good mood and try to ruin it. If you're in a good mood, everyone has to be in a good mood. If you're in a bad mood,everyone has to be in a bad mood. You're a f****** bully and I HATE that if anyone displeases you, you have to 'punish' them. Like you're some sort of UberParent to everyone in your path. Suspicious and all negative and coming up with the most inane scenarios of betrayal. You f****** idiot, everything you accuse other people of doing is S*** YOU DO OR HAVE DONE YOURSELF. STOP PROJECTING!
Lets remember: Your temper now has you looking at a soon to be felony conviction. Yet you still wanna be an ass. I stood by you when everyone else deserted you because of what you did. Because I thought you wanted things to be different for yourself. But you're still an ass. And then you wanna get mad at me because I won't commit to you?? You act like I have no right to think about what's going to be good for me in MY life- because I'm the one that has to live it. You just want what you want and if you can't have it, well then 'PUNISH IT'. Nice way to treat someone who has encouraged you and pushed you to be all that God intended you to be.
How am I supposed to look past that? I think you're just looking for another codependent relationship. I don't have enough time on this earth for that bullshit. You can better yourself or you can stay where you are. But I'm not lowering my standards to raise your self esteem.