just like a stalker
I saw my favorite singer live, and it was amazing. I met him before the show, he signed my CD and took a picture with me and chatted with me for a bit. It should have been one of the happiest nights of my life, but for weeks afterward, I became sick at the thought of him.
This isn't the first time it happened to me regarding something about him. I got really upset upon finding out he no longer considered himself bisexual and identified as gay, even though I know I'd never have a chance with him even if he was straight. I eventually accepted the fact that he's gay, but after that show, it made me nervous and sick to think about him to the point where I actually vomited.
I know it's part of adolescence to love your favorite celebrities, but this went beyond the typical thought of "He's so cute, I wish I could marry him!" I was actually, physically sick and devastated at the idea that I would never be close to him, never be his friend.
And even though I find him incredibly attractive, I'm starting to wonder if I want more to BE him than to be WITH him. And that just adds a whole other layer of f***** up to this situation. *sigh*