I'm in love with an internet artist that doesn't know i exist

This obsession began around 4-5 years ago when my autistic ** was immersed in the Danganronpa fandom. While searching for cute fanart on DeviantArt, I stumbled upon an... interesting art piece depicting Ryouko, Hajime, Matsuda, and Izuru as lions hunting in the rain. I had never seen anything like it within the Danganronpa fandom before so I was immediately drawn in, I began to explore more of their artwork, and that's when my obsession with them truly started. Days turned into weeks as I spent countless hours scrolling through their art on other websites besides Deviantart. There was something about their art that felt incredibly... authentic... they truly weren't ashamed of being who they are, they didn't need a layer of irony to hide behind like most people, their realness felt kinda refreshing... Anyways... A majority of their artwork consisted of Danganronpa characters, furries, tlk, and many other fandoms. eventually, I discovered their Tumblr, where they had entire blogs dedicated to an extremely complex and detailed danganronpa au consisting of those characters i mentioned earlier but as weird furry **... Its...a lot. It didn't take long for me to find all of their more... nsfw **,,, on more "adult" art websites ummmmm yeah and well lets just say i was now even MORE of a fan than i was before. after awhile they stopped being into danganronpa and got into... Blazblue of all things which was one of my favorite underrated fighting game series of all time so now my favorite person has gotten into one of my favorite game series of all time.. ** I got lucky. after a while I would read some of their more "personal" post and then I saw it... their face... I'm trying not to sound creepy but like they are really attractive like cmon bruh I was already gay as ** and their ** spanish ** is NOT HELPING. they are ace so there is no actual way I will ever be able to be with them lmao.(i've kinda already accepted it)

did I mention that I have never talked to them this entire time, cause I'm scared bro.

the most crazy part about this obsession is that it has not stopped, if anything, it has gotten worse, why else would I write all abt it.

also, checking their post is a constant habit of mine, constantly throughout the day I will always think to myself "huh I wonder if they posted anything today" and I will always need to check. because they make me happy, it's instant dopamine for me lmao.

also they post pokemon lesbians now which is based as **.

I have tried to be in real relationships with other people that are not them, lets just say those irl relationships didn't last very long,

I don't really like anyone else romantically besides them and they still don't even know I exist after all this time.